Birthday jokes
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Dad bought Mum a bone-china tea set for her birthday.
How lovely!
Yes, but he only did it so as not to have to do the washing-up. Mum's too frightened he'll break it!
What's the greatest birthday present?
Hard to say - but a drum takes a lot of beating.
What did the burglar give his wife for her birthday?
A stole.
Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday.
Betty: That was a kind thought. But why didn't you?
Fred: I couldn't find one big enough for your nose.
Fred: Do you like the dictionary I bought you for your birthday?
Harry: Sure. It's a great present but I just can't find the words to thank you enough.
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