AlltheJokes.com
The best humor! Birthday jokes and funny stories.

Good news! I've been given a goldfish for my birthday
. . .the bad news is that I don't get the bowl until my next birthday!

The housewife answered a knock on the door and found a total stranger standing on the doorstep.
"Excuse me for disturbing you, ma'am," he said politely, "but I pass your house every morning on my way to work, and I've noticed that every day you appear to be hitting your son on the head with a loaf of bread."
"That's right." "Every day you hit him on the head with a loaf of bread, and yet this morning you were beating him with a chocolate cake." "Well, today is his birthday."

Fred: Have you noticed that your mother smells a bit funny these days?
Harry: No. Why?
Fred: Well, your sister told me she was giving her a bottle of toilet water for her birthday.

Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday.
Harry: That was a kind thought. But why didn't you?
Fred: I couldn't find one big enough for your nose.

I'd like to say something nice about you as it's your birthday.
Why don't you?
Because I can't think of a single thing to say!